It's a Dark Day

I'll be the first to admit that it has been too long since my last post. And I can't promise anyone that this post means there will be a change in my posting patterns. However, what I can say is today, after an extensive vacation, inspiration has come back.

As it happens, I am currently babysitting a hamster. Whiskers appears to be one of the cute Siberian type. Little, fluffy and, possibly, full of evil. I accepted delivery of one hamster and promptly left for work. When I came home my 3.5 year-old son was a flutter with joy of having a hamster in the house. As he told me, "I love our - OUR - hamster." He's had 4 hours with this hamster and already he's claimed it. Stick a flag in it; he's done.

On the other end of the spectrum: my cat. I immediately noticed the cat, Mitzi, was twitchier than normal, constantly crouched in an investigative position and definitely jumpier.

Pictured: Not a jumpy, twitchy, crouch-y cat.

Of course, my first thought was that Hedwig, my cat who has been threatening to die for 10 of the 13 years I've had her, finally had her way with life. After a rigorous search of the premises turned up Hedwig alive and what I can only call kicking I quit looking for her corpse. Since she wasn't dead I was able to quickly rule out the possibility that Mitzi was freaked out because she found the body and was not able to communicate to us her predicament.

Hedwig not being dead.

I put Mitzi's bizarre behavior on the back-burner for a while and went on with my life... until I realized that finding Hedwig hadn't helped her, and Mitzi was still flipping out. So I decided to go all scientific on her sweet ass and conduct an experiment.

My hypothesis: Mitzi is weirded out my the introduction of Whiskers the Cuddly.

My test: Grab Mitzi and attempt to expose her to her possible fear.

Yeah... about that...

The first attempt to grab Mitzi ended with her flinging her cat-like body down a flight of stairs. She normally doesn't move, I mean at least not that fast.

The second attempt went remarkably better. Or not, probably... On the second try I managed to pluck up the crafty kitty and carry her to the room with the Evil Whiskers. As I opened the door her claws started to protrude and her muscles tensed. Within three steps towards the hamster cage Mitzi was letting her true colors show.

The results: I felt a warm sensation on my side.

My cat had peed on me. The tiny little hamster scared the piss out of my cat. Really?

Conclusion: Mitzi is in fact afraid of a cotton ball with a pulse. But this just opens up so many other questions. How is she going to show her face to her friends? How will Hedwig react when she finds out? But perhaps more importantly: What do I need to know about this hamster? Should I be afraid?

Could it Be?

Hedwig, the cat I have had for around 9 years, has a number of different quirks. Because her knee caps are misplaced she runs/hops/walks/??? like a opossum. Her tongue is, most likely, approximately a half inch too big for her mouth judging by how it always sticks out. She is a master of the cat philosophy of "I will be loved when it suits me, and you will love me when and only when I allow it."

But perhaps the quirk I like the most is she tends to be the most un-photogenic cat I have ever known.

These are a few examples of my dear Hedwig. There are more, but I am saving those for the day when I may have to blackmail her for her precious cat money.

So, the question remains: How does Hedwig feel about this? Well...
Yep. Pretty much the way she feels about everything else.

There it is. I have presented my evidence, belittled my cat, but hopefully I have swayed some into thinking that Hedwig is indeed the most un-photogenic cat...In The World!