The Brain, Mouth, Hand Conundrum

Believe it or not, but I do not have what some refer to as the gift of gab. I can't wax poetically. I will never be the person helping others pick up dates by feeding them perfect lines. Unfortunately, I really like to talk. A lot.

My mom and I have discussed my speaking deficiencies at length, and we have come to two different explanation- one as likely as the next.

The first explanation is: When I keep my mouth shut for extended periods of time the words, which form on a continuous cycle, get stored up in my mouth. Then, inevitably, someone will direct a question my way.

I am forced to open my mouth where these words have been stored all kinds of willy-nilly and poof!

This is what we refer to as puppy mouth syndrome. I open my mouth and the words come spilling out like excited little puppies. Some holding on to tails, some running around in circles, some trying to scratch with stumpy, stubby little legs, and not one of them making much sense. Lucky for me after I release the hounds, as it were, I am a little better equipped for forming coherent thought.

Unfortunately this is where the second explanation comes into play. My brain and my mouth do not communicate well with each other. In fact on more than one occasion my brain has seen my mouth open and said to itself - oh dear god- or some other phrase as it buries its imaginary head in its imaginary hands.

My brain also spends a lot of time watching my mouth and thinking 'well, let's see where it's going this time.' I don't think my brain hates my mouth, I just think it has washed its imaginary hands clean of it and no longer takes responsibility for the words, phrases etc that come out of my mouth.

So, I write, and by no means do I think I am any better at writing than speaking, but at least I have the opportunity to go back through and read something before it goes out there. My mouth doesn't give me that chance. It sees my brain slacking and takes the chance to let the puppy dog-esque words come spilling out. Generally that just leaves me with a sheepish mouth, an exasperated brain and me caught in the middle.

Yep, I prefer writing because it comes with deleting, editing, proofing and the ilk. Sure, there are still mistakes, but at least for now, my hands and my brain get along well.