Saturday, January 16, 2010

Recalculating

If you listen to the news eventually you will stumble upon a story or two about people who end up driving into a lake or off a cliff because they put too much faith into their GPS device. Upon hearing such stories I have usually come to the conclusion that these people are idiots - plain and simple. However, certain recent events have come to light forcing me to rethink this.

Situation 1: My mom has had a Garmin GPS device for a couple/few years now and since we are awful at following instructions we are quite familiar with the voice-over summoning up all the pissiness she can muster to spit out the word "recalculating" because we screwed up once again.

Recently, we were out looking for Christmas lights suggested by the local paper (who, with their great insight, included addresses but no directions.) During our excursion she (the Garmin) told us she was recalculating numerous times. As a family we decided that the lady recording the voice-over was given the direction, "They're ignoring you again" for her motivation to sound pissy.

Then we broke her heart. She had to tell us to make a U-turn. That did not make her happy. Not one bit.

Situation 2: Once while driving home from Kansas City, my sister and I looked at the screen which gave all the indications that we were driving through a lake. No roads, just water everywhere. My sister and I screamed and turned the machine off because if we were actually in a lake turning off the Garmin would have fixed everything.

Situation 3: More recently my husband, sister, and I were driving to the Arch in St. Louis. Had we listened to the Garmin's cryptic directions to "turn right on the road" she would have led us up the steps leading down to the river front and had us park underneath the Arch. We outsmarted her and didn't listen, but this was the event that tipped me off that there may be something else to people following the Garmin to the ends of the Earth.

Like many put upon machines, GPS devices are retaliating and doing it to the best of their ability. By forcing the unsuspecting drivers into lakes, off cliffs, into fields or even under the Arch she is really saying "I won't be ignored, ______!" This is payback and payback feels good.

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