when I grow up

I know that many a child has been confronted with the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I am no exception. When I was younger I imagined myself in any number of jobs. I considered myself a Barbie of sorts - put on a new outfit and 'poof' I was qualified for a new and amazing job.

Well, here I am grown up. And what has changed? Well, a lot. I have realized that instead of being asked what I wanted to be I should've been asked what I have no business being. For me, that would have eliminated any number of poor career choices I could've made.

Just recently I have arrived back home from a short stint in Europe. During the trip home I added another job to the list of don't even bother. Yep, I will never be a flight attendant.

On the way home we hit a bit of turbulence. One bump really, but it scared the bejeezus out of me. I was on the verge of tears and hyperventilating a bit. Instead of letting my life play out before my eyes I thought about what type of person willingly seeks out a job that puts them 36,000 feet above the earth with no safety net.

Personally, I find the act of flying unnatural, so when I am trying to determine what is acceptable behavior on the part of the plane and what is not I am at a loss. How much shaking is normal? If something were out of the ordinary would the pilot let me know? If the wing fell off who would know first - me or the pilot?

These are just a few questions that went through my head as I imagined myself working on the airplane. Then there was the constant thought of me yelling at the passengers they were all going to die because of some routine turbulence.

I would be lying if I said I didn't admire the people crazy enough to want to work on a plane. They are able to keep their cool in situations where I can't even get out of my seat for fear of death - and this is with the plane functioning "normally."

I guess the bottom line is I make a horrible passenger let alone a cool, calm and collected employee on board a flying plane. I will now add flight attendant and pilot to my list of jobs to avoid alongside: any type of outdoors-person, politician, Au Pair, ballerina, professional house painter, and, well the list goes on...